


Numinous (Divine majesty)

by Scyllaya



Series: Numinous [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-28
Updated: 2012-10-28
Packaged: 2017-11-17 05:48:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/548272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scyllaya/pseuds/Scyllaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On accident Gabriel brings up some horrific memories of Dean's. When Dean reacts badly. Gabriel goes to extremes to try and fix it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at Livejournal, Mar. 14th, 2011. http://scyllaya.livejournal.com/26116.html

Part One

 

First everything was completely normal on that particular afternoon. Well what counted as normal ever since some god or unknown higher power decided that the Winchesters needed one extra annoying archangel in their lives in Gabriel’s person. Of course being the resident pain in the ass was more Gabriel’s idea. He refused to go back to Heaven, even if he did suddenly disappear from time to time after snapping his head up, and from the way Castiel looked all relaxed and trustful in his presence he obviously helped out the other angel once in a while when things got really dangerous. He usually annoyed Sam and Dean, mostly just Dean, since Sam managed to ignore his childish teasing and pranks, or Gabriel in general.

Dean on the other hand always took the bait and their days were now filled with bickering and cursing. And even if it was nearly impossible to get rid of an archangel Dean’s threats of holy oil and crispy angel wings never stopped. Sam thought that the two of them settled into the most bizarre almost-friendship ever.

What changed everything was Dean’s capability to actually piss off an archangel and Gabriel’s tendency to just snap his fingers before thinking everything through first.  It started small, some bicker about pie or TV, it didn’t matter since they were throwing insults and smart-ass retorts at each other all the time. But this time it escalated. Sam sometimes fled the room pretty early because he never wanted to get dragged into any of their childish arguments, but when the first true insults got out, the younger Winchester knew that shit will hit the fan in light-speed.

Gabriel’s anger was sometimes a tangible thing, it filled the room, the air felt thicker and charged. And when this time Sam felt it, as temperature dropped and the smell of storm filled his nose, he knew it will be really bad.

‘Are you maybe forgetting Winchester that I died to save your sorry ass?’ Gabriel asked when he finally stood up from the bed and approached Dean. And Sam knew that his stupid pig-headed brother won’t back-off, maybe was too angry to even realize the possible danger in the situation. He just looked furious and practically spit back his answer through gritted teeth.

‘I couldn’t care less about a coward who left his family to rot just so he could screw with people and fuck every bloody monster on the face of Earth!’ Sam was already on his feet even without any idea what he could possibly do. Gabriel’s face darkened and without a word he just snapped his fingers and Dean was gone from the room.

‘What did you do to him?’ Sam asked immediately. Scared shitless about what the archangel might have just done to his brother in his anger. Gabriel actually took a deep, long breath and Sam felt as the room’s air returned to normal, no smell of ozone or rain.

‘Well, your brother needed to cool off a little obviously,’ the archangel replied, but before Sam could demand or plead for his brother Gabriel snapped his fingers again and Dean was back.

He landed unceremoniously on the worn carpet of the motel room. He was drenched in water, it was dripping from his face and clothes already forming a small pool of water under him. Sam awaited his brother to look up with menace in his eyes and start calling Gabriel in every insulting way possible, but he didn’t move. And when he noticed how shallow his breathing was, how ragged and how he was shaking and how his fingers were curled into a tight fist Sam felt his stomach twist in fear   
  
‘Dean!’ he dropped down onto his knees next to his brother and put a hand on his shoulder. He was very cold, the water felt icy under Sam’s fingers. ‘Dean! What’s wrong? Are you hurt?’ but the elder Winchester just kept staring at the carpet, water dripping from his hair and his nose. His lips were almost blue for fuck’s sake. ‘What the hell did you do to him?’ Sam snapped up at the archangel with so much anger rising from the pit of his stomach that he felt that he could tear the archangel apart with his bare hands.

Gabriel scoffed. ‘Oh c’mon, don’t be so dramatic I just--’ normally Sam would’ve laughed at the way the archangel’s eyes widened and his face morphed into that of a horrific realization, but not now. ‘Oh fuck!’ he cursed and he got closer, but the moment he knelt down next to Dean too the older Winchester jumped back, like he was burnt and scrambled back and away from the archangel until his back hit the closest wall. His eyes were wide and his breathing got even more ragged, Sam got closer to him immediately, but no words seemed to reach his brother as he just kept looking up at the archangel.

‘Get the fuck out of here,’ Sam practically growled.

‘I just--’

‘NOW!’ there was a quiet sound of fluttering wings and the Winchesters were alone. Sam didn’t know what he would’ve done if Gabriel refused to leave, but now he had much bigger problem at hand since Dean seemed only a slightly bit relaxed even with Gabriel gone.

xxx

  
I took Sam an hour to snap Dean out of it enough to get him into the shower and another few hours before Dean stopped staring at nothing. Sam didn’t know what could’ve caused all this, but the way Dean was trashing and woke up covered in sweat with an almost scream on his lips only after an hour he fell asleep was way too familiar for Sam’s liking. He was thinking of every possible way he could harm an archangel. After he woke from his nightmare Dean wordlessly grabbed his half-bottle of whiskey from his duffel and started drinking. Sam didn’t stop him. Gabriel fortunately didn’t come by the next day and Sam might’ve hoped that everything was just getting in order with Dean - he showered and ate on his own - but this hope was soon crushed as he noticed that he didn’t talk, at all. Nor did he make any particular noise that resembled any sort of communication. Sam stopped bothering him and thought that he just needed a little space and time.

Of course the next day - Sam was also dead tired because Dean couldn’t sleep and that kept Sam awake too - Gabriel showed up again. Sam wanted to shout, scream, threaten or do anything he could to get him to fuck off, but he was ignored. Dean didn’t react as badly as he did the last time, but he did flinch when the angel appeared and he refused to look at him and backed away when Gabriel took a step towards him. The archangel just kept looking at him for a while, his stare as intense as Castiel’s usually was, then without a word he was gone. Dean visibly relaxed.

During the week Dean got slightly better, he even looked at Sam sometimes and grunt in affirmation or shook his head, he was still not talking though, but it was an improvement. And Gabriel showed up every day. First he was just there, but then he would say Dean’s name as in trying to get him to acknowledge his presence. Dean never did, he got better and he ignored the archangel to the point that he no longer flinched or backed off from him, but simply acted as he didn’t exist at all. Gabriel was most certainly not someone who could be easily ignored this much, but Dean could. It helped that Gabriel didn’t get closer than three feet and never reached out to touch the hunter, nor did he forced him to stop ignoring him. One day the archangel just leaned next to the window without a word and stayed there all day, waiting.

When a week passed like this. Dean silent and ignoring Gabriel like he was just a piece of furniture, while Sam started to seriously freak out about Dean’s current state. So he took things in his hand, he called Bobby and told them that they were going over.

Sam was out loading their stuff to the Impala while Dean was putting away the rest of his clothes into his own bag.

‘Dean,’ it was Gabriel of course standing next to him, now breaking his previous 3 feet distance rule. Dean of course ignored him and continued to pack his clothes. When he was ready he turned to leave the motel room, but this time Gabriel didn’t let him. He grabbed him, spun him around, one hand on Dean’s lower arm. Dean tensed immediately and was staring sideways at the wall. Gabriel didn’t hold his arm too tightly, and slowly crowded Dean back to the wall so that he would stay in one place. Dean backed down since he didn’t have a choice, his back reached the wall.

‘Dean, you... can’t just... don’t ignore me,’ Gabriel said, but Dean of course didn’t reply. ‘I fucked up, I know... I’m... I’m so sorry’ he managed to say, but it didn’t get a reaction. Gabriel was looking at the human and his grace was aching and twisting within his vessel at how under the stone-cold appearance Dean was hurting, scared and hurting and it was all his fault, it was him who violently re-awakened his worst memories of Hell, even if it was not what he intended to do. Gabriel put his other hand on Dean’s chest and felt as his heart was beating furiously in his ribcage.

‘Dean please just... look at me, will you? Come on... please... I never wanted to hurt you so much... I’m such an idiot,’ Gabriel took a deep breath and kept his eyes locked on the hunter’s face even if the green eyes didn’t look back at him. They didn’t glint with mirth or laughter. Didn’t burn with emotion. ‘I would turn back time if... too many things happened that just... I can’t do that right now... and you would never forgive me if I messed with your memories... I just…’ he took a breath again and when did he get so human again? ‘You were right again... and angered me... no one could ever cut me so deep as you... not even Lucifer... because you just see me, I can’t really fool you, but that doesn’t matter now... I just wanted to see you... I’m... I’m going to fight Raphael and I just...’ he leaned in close and since Dean had his head turned away Gabriel pressed his lips to his cheek, but only slightly touching the smooth skin, while he inhaled deeply. ‘I brought you something,’ the archangel said and even if Dean still refused to look at him Gabriel managed to curl his fingers open then close his hand around the small object.

‘You can throw it away, but I hope you’ll keep it so I can hear you if you need me.’ Gabriel leaned close again, but just to put his hand on Dean’s cheek, but he didn’t force him to look at him. ‘I hope you forgive me’ he told him quietly. ‘Goodbye.’

And the next second Dean was alone in the room and he slid down next to the wall. Tears burning and trying to get free from his eyes and he already regretted not reaching out, not turning his head. He leaned his head back onto the wall, looking up at the ceiling, while his fist closed around the small amulet even tighter.

‘I forgive you,’ he breathed out, his voice hoarse from not talking for so long. ‘I forgive you... please don’t die.’

 


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two

A week passed and they were still at Bobby’s even if Dean wanted to tell Sam that they didn’t need to go to him right after Gabriel left, but his younger brother was having none of it. Yeah, he stopped talking for a bit, but he still thought it was too much fuss, he was all better after all.

Dean might’ve been still less talkative than before, but otherwise he was fine, he really was, or so he told himself over and over again. Then of course he realized how torn he was about all this mess. Sam tried to get him to tell where Gabriel snapped him, but Dean kept his mouth shut. Because there was no way he could explain it to Sam properly how something causing this much damage could’ve been accidental. But Dean knew it was, what Gabriel did was nothing uncharacteristic from the archangel. Dean was pissed and shouting and he managed to get a rise out of Gabriel and the angel freakin’ dropped him in the ocean. And not the palm-trees, white sand, hot chicks kinda ocean, but in the middle of ice-cold, stormy waters. And the way he was suddenly enwrapped by cold and darkness... it felt like falling to Hell.

He didn’t know whether Sam experienced it or not, when he jumped into Lucifer’s Cage, but even if he did Dean didn’t want to scramble up any Hell-related memories in his little brother, minding Death’s warning about not scratching it is advisable.

So when Gabriel snapped his fingers, it was suddenly cold and dark and his clothes dragged him down into the stormy water, and as cold bit into his flesh, it felt exactly like being dragged down to Hell again. Because Hell was a cold burn, and Dean was terrified immediately. He wanted to scream but he choked and the pressure increased as he sank. The whole thing couldn’t have lasted more than a minute, but he thought that Gabriel threw him down to Hell.

In retrospect it was stupid of course, logically Dean knew that the archangel wouldn’t do that, but at that moment he didn’t. And the fear petrified him. That one minute and everything just raced through his head, all the pain that was awaiting him and he felt like he was already on the rack.

First he didn’t notice that he was back in the motel room. He expected the pain to start and the first coherent thought that ran through his head was that he finally pushed too much, that he couldn’t keep his mouth shut and he angered a being way more capable of tossing him down into the bowels of Hell, indeed only with a snap of his fingers.

It was one of those stupid things that even if he knew what Gabriel was, he didn’t actually realize it. But all in one thought, it came crushing down on him and he felt like some stupid kid poking a dragon with toothpicks until the beast got annoyed enough to lift a finger to kill.

Then he realized that he was indeed not in Hell again but the constant low buzz of adrenaline and fear wouldn’t let up.

The days after the incident went in a blur and Dean only remembered half the things that happened. But he did remember when Gabriel last visited and that was the exact reason why he was so torn about the whole thing.

Snapping him away in the fight was Gabriel’s version of tossing a drink in his face, that he knew. He also knew that he felt guilty about bringing up memories like that, because of what Dean heard of Gabriel’s reaction from Sam, he knew that the archangel realized almost immediately why Dean was so badly affected. And Dean knew him enough to know that it was anything but intentional. And from the way he said goodbye, the hunter also knew now that the archangel apparently cared a lot more about him that he let on before. On top of everything he left to fight Raphael and Dean did not want to think that he was maybe...

All that and he was still fucking afraid. It was crazy and stupid. His first reaction after hearing the angel say ‘Goodbye’ like it was fucking final, was to give forgiveness, but he only managed to open his mouth after Gabriel was gone. He didn’t want him to die, he knew that. But when he thought about what would happen if the archangel returned and whenever he looked at the little silver amulet Gabriel left behind he felt as dread gripped his chest. It was ridiculous and unreasonable and it was like the fucking airplanes all over again.

He didn’t get it, since he never feared any of his enemies like this, not even Yellow-Eyes or Lucifer, but maybe just that was it, Gabriel was not an enemy, not anymore and he couldn’t just shoot him or stab him - even if he did the latter more than once - to get rid of him and the fear along with him. And a little noise in the back of his mind also told him that for some stupid unexplainable reason he really liked having him around until the whole “snapped to the ocean Hell freak out”. And that Gabriel kissed him goodbye or something, which was a lot let confusing than it should’ve been. The little voice also wanted to whisper things about feelings and shit, but Dean strictly told himself that he did not grow a vagina thank you very much.

Then Castiel showed up. Dean didn’t flinch at the sound of wings, but he couldn’t tell whether because he was finally getting over his nonsense fear or that it was his special Cas-focused spidey-sense that told him in an almost totally subconscious level that it was his friend who appeared behind him. He almost couldn’t believe that there was a time when he jumped in surprise or reached for a gun when the angel popped in, now not even a muscle tensed in his body.

Bobby was out getting some supplies and to discuss something with Sheriff Mills, Sam of course refused to let his brother out of his sight. Dean would’ve bitched about it, but he had to give the kid some slack, because the whole thing must’ve freaked out him a lot. So it was just him and Sam at Bobby’s study, doing some half-hearted research about a possible case when the flutter of wings signaled Cas’ arrival.

‘Hey Cas,’ he greeted, Sam didn’t say a word. And Dean knew - since Sam told him - that his brother was pissed at Cas for letting Gabriel do whatever he wanted, which was unfair in Dean’s opinion since what exactly was Cas supposed to do about it?

Castiel was looking at him with his usual intense, soul-deep stare, which Dean was pretty much used to at this point, even if he didn’t see it all that much even since Cas was always in a hurry due to the war going on in Heaven.

‘I’m glad you’re feeling better now Dean,’ the angel said after a few moments of staring, Dean kept eye contact and he didn’t have to ask Cas continued. ‘Gabriel informed me about your unfortunate argument.’ Sam snorted, Cas glanced at him but didn’t comment. ‘I couldn’t come before, my apologizes.’

Dean was almost surprised that he wasn’t angry.

‘It’s okay Cas, I know that the war got really heavy lately,’ the hunter told him and Sam looked at him in confusion. Dean didn’t tell him about Gabriel’s last visit. And Dean realized some time after that things must’ve been very bad if the wayward archangel decided to join the fight. Castiel nodded.

‘Things indeed seemed rather ominous,’ the angel confirmed and Dean looked at him again this time with more focus.

‘Cas, what’s going on?’ he asked, there was something unusual about his behaviour.

‘The war ended,’ the angel answered simply.

‘What?’ asked Sam in utter surprise. ‘How?’ Castiel turned his attention at the younger Winchester.

‘Raphael is no longer a threat nor do I believe that he will be again.’ There was a sinking feeling in Dean’s stomach, but he couldn’t identify it.

‘Is...’ he started, but couldn’t continue. And okay he was definitely not over it. Cas just looked at him and whether he knew Dean enough, read his mind or expected the un-said question, was a mystery for the human.

‘Gabriel is...’ Dean didn’t flinch at hearing his name, which the hunter counted as a win, but that pause, while Cas thought about how to phrase what he wanted to say caused him to tense up. And he actually thought (prayed) ‘ _Don’t say ‘dead’_.’

‘Recuperating,’ the angel finished and Dean let out a breath. ‘He was injured and he exhausted his powers to a great extent to keep the fight away from the Earthly plane.’

‘What do you mean?’ Sam asked this time. Dean doubted that Sam actually cared about the archangel’s well-being, since he hated him with passion ever since that day.

‘Raphael would’ve battled him here on Earth and I’m sure I don’t need to remind you what a fight between two archangels would've done to this planet.’ Dean felt a shiver ran down his spine at that, it was a gentle reminder to his brain why exactly he was currently downright scared of the youngest archangel.

‘He fought Raphael?’ Sam asked in disbelief.

‘And won,’ Castiel finished, but he did look at Sam in slight confusion. ‘But I thought that he informed you about this.’

‘What? No, he didn’t!’ replied Sam.

‘He did,’ replied Dean a beat later, which caused his brother to snap his attention at him.

‘When the hell did you talk with that bastard?’ asked Sam, Dean winced at the sheer anger in his little brother’s voice, while Castiel just frowned.

‘I didn’t,’ Dean shrugged. ‘He just told me... before he left, back in Iowa.’ At that Sam seemed to get even more pissed.

‘That fucker just waltzed back in when I wasn’t there and you didn’t even tell me?’ he asked in frustration.

‘Sam,’ Castiel interrupted him, before he could continue. ‘I understand how Gabriel’s actions might’ve looked like to you. And he was reckless and he did exaggerate, I too was angry when I heard about it, but you must know that he did not intend to hurt your brother.’

‘Yeah, he just won your war for you. I bet he seems like the best brother in the whole wide world to you,’ Sam said annoyed.

‘Cas is right,’ Dean said in a quiet tone.

‘What?’ Sam looked at him in shock. Dean shrugged. Yeah he was still messed up a little because of everything, but that didn’t make it any less true. ‘You have got to be fucking kidding me!’ Sam asked and his tone was incredulous. Dean just looked at him and Sam stood up from his spot. ‘I can’t believe you,’ he said, he pushed his fingers in his hair in a motion that signaled that he was about to get really pissed. ‘It’s like... you’re one of those stupid chicks who always forgive their abusive boyfriends.’

‘What the hell? No I’m not,’ Dean replied immediately. He didn’t know which one should anger him more that Sam compared him to a chick or that he called Gabriel his abusive boyfriend.

‘You totally are. Don’t think I didn’t notice, man. You were like freakin’ catatonic for hours, you didn’t speak for a week and the moment you started talking again you were making excuses for him!’

Dean didn’t think he did, he very carefully never mentioned Gabriel’s name at all. The moment he opened his mouth to object Sam threw his arms up in frustration.

‘Not directly! God... I can’t even! I need a drink!’ he said and stormed off.

‘He’s worried about you,’ Castiel said once the house was silent after Sam stomped off and the Impala roared to life from the outside.

‘No shit,’ Dean answered as he looked at where Sam disappeared. Then he felt Cas’ hand on his shoulder - right on the handprint - it was reassuring, grounding. He was getting over his freak out about Hell, but he relaxed now too, this helped too.

‘I was too,’ the angel told him. After a beat of silence he continued, ‘and I told Gabriel that if something like this ever happened again I would stab him in the face.’ Dean felt as his lips curled up in a grin and he started laughing a bit without a conscious thought.

‘Did you now?’ he asked the angel. Castiel had that almost smile on his face, the one that made him look like a cheeky kid and he seemed rather pleased with himself. Cas nodded.

‘I did,’ Dean chuckled a bit again. ‘He told me he’ll lend me his blade.’ That sobered Dean up after a few seconds. ‘I am glad that you are better now,’ Castiel continued. ‘And I’m glad that you seem to have forgiven Gabriel.’ Dean just nodded and Castiel let go of his shoulder.

‘Hey um...’ he reached to his pocket and fished out the silver amulet - almost looked like a coin - and held it in his palm. ‘Does this thing work even with your art project on my ribs?’ he asked Cas. The angel’s eyes narrowed for a second, but then he looked at Dean again.

‘The sigils hide you from angels, but they cannot prevent any of us from finding you if you pray, how do you think I found you as of late?’ there was that little smile on Cas again.

‘So I don’t even need this thing?’ he asked.

‘You do,’ Castiel told him. ‘I am not well-known among humans, no one prays to me but you or Sam. You can imagine how many souls pray to Gabriel even as we speak.’

Now that Cas mentioned it, he could imagine. Michael and Gabriel were the only two angels known by every human, there must be hundreds or thousands of voices.

‘He told me that New Age gives him a headache, like the Renaissance did,’ Castiel informed him and that got Dean to smile. ‘I’ll return later,’ the angel said next. ‘I still have many things to do.’

‘Sure thing, was good to see you, man.’ Cas once again nodded at him then he was gone. Dean then flipped the coin-like amulet over in his hand and he felt as his heartbeat fastened, he licked his suddenly dry lips and cleared his throat.

‘Gab... Gabriel’ and his pulse was beating faster now. Fear was there too, but something else as well and Dean didn’t dare to put a label on it. ‘Hey... I... um... knew you would kick the ass of that ninja angel... I just... so... rest and I guess I’ll... see you around when you’re better.’ He took a shuddering breath after he managed to choke out the last part.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Part Three

He half dreaded that the archangel would just appear suddenly, but it didn’t happen. Not that day and not for a while. Dean wondered how badly he might be hurt. He admitted that he might’ve been a bit worried. And apparently Sam grew some freaky mind-reading or Dean-decoding powers because he picked up on it and he got even bitchier about the whole thing. He was throwing some big psychological words at Dean’s head which was annoying. He felt if he heard another sentence that contained the words ‘trauma’ or ‘syndrome’ he’s gonna really flip out. He told Sam to cut it out, but his brother didn’t understand it. Gabriel fucked up, Dean forgave him. Dean was... recovering, he will be over it. Didn’t mean he had to make Gabriel the Winchesters' new archenemy... angel... archangel... he knew there was a joke in there, so after he went to bed he fished out the amulet from his jeans pocket and told Gabriel about it.

It became a habit. He never was a praying type, and he wasn’t sure whether his every-night nonsense counted as praying at all. But the third time he was able to say Gabriel’s name on the first try and he stayed almost calm. Two days later he hung the amulet around his neck, only because he fell asleep while he held it in his hand and he almost couldn’t find it in the morning. When a week passed he admitted that he was worried a bit, since the injury must’ve been really bad if it took this long to heal. He also said that Raphael better be dead cause Dean’s going to roast him, then salt him and light him on fire again.

The next night Dean took a deep breath when he looked at his reflection is the mirror and made a decision. He walked back into his room, locked the door then took another deep breath to calm his nerves.

‘Gabriel,’ he said out loud. ‘I wanna see you.’ He waited a few seconds. ‘If you could...’

‘Hey Dean,’ came the voice from behind him.

He froze, he couldn’t help it. Sweat broke out on his skin and his pulse was beating faster. He felt as a shiver went down his spine. Adrenaline pounded in his veins as it heightened his senses. His muscles tensed, wanting to jump into action, but he knew he couldn’t move. He heard two footsteps, Gabriel came closer.

‘You’re afraid,’ not a question. It was pretty obvious, Dean was sure of it, and he wanted to tell his body to get a grip. He was not in danger for fuck’s sake, Gabriel would not attack him, won’t hurt him, even if he could, but he really shouldn’t think that. Because what felt most true was what Gabriel told him years ago in a theater hall filled with cheesy porn music, a disco globe and two hot girls in lingerie.

‘ _I don't wanna hurt you. And you know that I can._ ” Dean just grinned at him back then, he was just a job, just another monster he had to fight and he wasn’t scared. But he knew better and the knowledge was choking him, because he could, he really could just tear him apart, destroy him, send him in his worst nightmare in a blink of an eye...

‘Stop it!’ Dean didn’t notice that he closed his eyes or that the archangel got in front of him. There were hands on his cheek and the back of his neck. ‘Look at me,’ Gabriel told him. Dean wanted to open his eyes, he really did. He regretted it that he couldn’t bring himself to do it the last time, but... ‘Dean, look at me,’ a thumb was stroking his jaw soothingly. Then Dean finally managed to force his eyelids to obey him and then he was looking into warm amber eyes. ‘Hey you,’ Gabriel smiled.

‘Hey,’ Dean managed, but his voice was all screwed up and he was pretty sure that he was shaking slightly. It was so stupid, he knew that, but he couldn’t stop it. He felt fingers in his hair, just sliding in a bit. It seemed like Gabriel wanted to say something, but Dean spoke first. ‘I... I’ll get a grip... it’s gonna pass... I’m just--’ he was cut off by lips on his own. He tensed again as Gabriel leaned in much closer as he closed the distance between them. The kiss was gentle, but a solid press of lips. Gabriel didn’t grip the back of his head, nor did he angle his head, he could get away if he wanted to, he knew Gabriel wouldn’t stop him. He didn’t back off.

The adrenaline was still pulsing in his veins, his body was still wired up tensely. His hands moved on their own, reaching up quickly and grabbing onto the lapels of Gabriel’s jacket. He had no idea why he did it, his brain and his body seemed to be disconnected, maybe he wanted to push him away, maybe he wanted to hang onto something solid as his world was spinning around him.

Then a hiss from Gabriel caused him to draw back and let go of him like his jacked caught on fire. There was a look of discomfort, almost pain on his face as he rolled his right shoulder back slowly. Dean was confused for a bit, then the angel clarified.

‘Any injury to my true form manifests on my vessel as well, and I’m not fully healed yet,’ he told him. That one sentence managed to give Dean some footing, it was ridiculous how his mind squashed down his almost panic-attack mercilessly into a manageable level as soon as there was the possible task of taking care of someone.

‘I could... you mind?’ It didn’t give him back the ability to speak in complete sentences though.

‘You can only see it on my vessel, I will heal it when I...’ then he visibly though about it. ‘Sure,’ he said instead and peeled off his jacket. Dean saw as he winced when he had to move his right shoulder again. And Dean reached out without thinking unbuttoning the shirt and pushing it over the archangel’s shoulder so that he didn’t have to move. The material was damp over his collarbone and he noticed why when he pushed it off, since Gabriel’s white undershirt was blood-soaked at the area, the wound just below the thin fabric.

‘I should bandage that,’ he said before thinking and Gabriel opened his mouth to reply, but Dean cut him off. ‘You’re getting angel blood everywhere,’ he told him. Gabriel smiled.

‘I guess you’re right,’ Dean turned away to get the small med kit he always kept in his duffel bag. Gabriel was sitting on the edge of the bed when he turned back.

‘Taking off the undershirt’s gonna hurt,’ he told him when he sat down next to him, turned towards Gabriel. The next second the clothing was gone from the archangel... half-naked archangel. Dean focused on the wound. It was thin, not that long but very deep, under the collarbone between the ribs. He knew what did it. Angel blade, Raphael’s blade.

‘He aimed for my heart,’ Gabriel told him.

‘I don’t need to clean it out I guess,’ Dean sad after a few seconds of silence.

‘No,’ Gabriel told him.

‘But if you can’t heal it I have to make stitches so that it stops bleeding at least. The bandage won’t hold on its own.’

‘All right.’ Dean scrambled through the med-kit for the needle and he couldn’t help but disinfect it. If Gabriel couldn’t heal the cut maybe he won’t be able to heal anything else either. He did swipe the gauze slightly soaked in the hydrogen peroxide over the wound, even if Gabriel told him it wasn’t needed. The archangel didn’t say anything, he didn’t even flinch, even if Dean knew from personal experience that the stuff stung like Hell.

‘I’d have a better angle if you laid down,’ Dean told him and Gabriel did. Neither of them spoke while Dean made the stitches. He would’ve thought that if he ever had to stitch up an angel it would have been Cas, if he lost his grace completely, not Gabriel, especially since he had all his powers. He leaned down to bite the nylon suture with his teeth when he was ready, not bothering with the scissors. He felt and heard as Gabriel took a sharp deep breath at that and Dean not knowing why or where it came from put a kiss on the now closed up wound before leaning back. He felt the metallic taste of blood on his lips - obviously - but he didn’t want to think about it too deeply and there was no time for it. Gabriel’s hands were on his face again as the archangel pulled him back down for a kiss. Dean didn’t froze and he didn’t panic, he was not afraid. Gabriel kissed him more this time, coaxed his mouth open with his tongue until they were really kissing. Dean put his hand on the angel’s chest and just enjoyed the way Gabriel kissed him like he was the first sip of water for thirst, the first breath of air after drowning, like he never thought that he would be allowed to do so.

Dean was panting heavily when Gabriel let go of his lips and the man put a kiss at the angel’s face before leaning back.

‘Let me finish this,’ Dean told him, Gabriel didn’t object. The elder Winchester didn’t know whether he expected him to, but he didn’t dwell on it for long. There was blood around the wound and on the right side of Gabriel’s chest and some also dripped lower on his side. Dean cleaned it away. It was easy to focus at the task at hand than to think about what was actually going on around his head. He didn’t want to analyze it, he wanted to bandage Gabriel’s wound for now. One thing at a time.

When he finished with cleaning up the blood and bandaging the wound securely he looked at Gabriel again. He could look at him again, he was making progress here. Then he noticed how Gabriel’s eyes were on his chest and when he looked down he noticed that his T-shirt got bloody during their last kiss. _No analyzing,_ Dean reminded himself then pulled the material over his head and tossed it away.

Gabriel reached out slowly, like he wasn’t sure Dean wasn’t going to scare back. And if Dean was honest with himself, he didn’t know either what would trigger it. He didn’t lean away from Gabriel’s touch. He stayed there kneeling next to him on the bed, while Gabriel looked up at him as his fingers ran down his chest touching the silver amulet that was lying on his breastbone, then stroked his stomach and his ribs. Then the archangel was pulling him down again by his hips, but still not forcefully, only guiding him. They kissed and Dean enjoyed the fingers tracing patterns on his shoulder blades, tracing down his spine and stroking his skin.

Dean still wasn’t sure whether his brain and body re-connected again or not, but he didn’t want to object when Gabriel turned them over, and his body was pliant under those hands too. His mind was saying yes and his body was eager when Gabriel unbuttoned his jeans and pushed it down along with his underwear. He moaned Gabriel’s name until the angel sealed his lips on his and his body arched up into the archangel’s touch as fingers closed around his already hard dick. He didn’t even notice that he got this turned on already. He kissed back eagerly, devouring the angel’s mouth. All the adrenaline and pent-up energy finally broke out, heating up his lust. This powerful being, who could destroy him in a second, was kissing him, touching him, worshipping his body.

Dean’s hips were thrusting up into Gabriel’s fist, but the archangel didn’t stop him, he let him move. He held his dick with certainty, stroking him just a bit harder, just a bit faster, just like Dean needed it.

‘Gabriel,’ Dean panted.

‘Let go,’ the archangel whispered into his skin. ‘I have you now.’ Dean came after a few more strokes, his body arching up from the bed as much as it could with Gabriel half on top of him. He barely held in a shout as pleasure washed over him. Gabriel slowed down his strokes until Dean finished completely. Dean’s body went boneless and the archangel kissed him again. Gently, but deep.

It took Dean quite some time to get his brain to work again and he was glad that his body finally managed to relax and stay that way even if Gabriel was still there. The angel looked at him with fondness, his amber eyes smiling.

‘How do you want me to...’ Dean started, but Gabriel was already shaking his head.

‘Another time,’ he told him. ‘I’m the one who has to make it up to you.’

‘I’ve already forgiven you,’ Dean told him, while the archangel popped up himself on his elbows, on his left side of course.

‘Yes and I’m grateful. But I do plan on spoiling you for a little while,’ he even raised his eyebrows suggestively.

‘So... if I say that I want to eat a blueberry pie?’ Dean asked, he didn’t know where it came from. Gabriel always reminded him of sweet things, not surprisingly.

‘Then there’s already one at the desk,’ Gabriel answered and Dean had to sit up a little to look. And there it was. Huh? He looked down at the angel.

‘Really?’ Dean asked. He was still relaxed and felt all relaxed after his orgasm and he didn’t want the fear to return.

‘You’re my truth, Dean Winchester. I won’t waver anymore and I won’t let you go.’

The feeling that went through him was anything but unpleasant, but once again he did not want to look too closely why Gabriel’s almost possessive statement sent a thrill through him, nor did he want to know why it pleased him. No analyzing.

End

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[PODFIC] Numinous (Divine majesty) by Scyllaya](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1035007) by [rippleeffect](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rippleeffect/pseuds/rippleeffect)




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